I was just talking about this with a friend of mine, and I realized that it's actually a very relevant point of communication in language and merits a post. However, if you're not so linguistically inclined you might want to skip this one.
I'm sure many people have heard the term "semantics" before. Usually in the context of dismissing an argument for it just being "semantics." In that case, it means mere manipulation through word choice, without any significant change in meaning.
To me, someone who's stupidly geeky about all things linguistic, semantics are important. Two sentences can have essentially the same meaning, but one might be far and away a better choice for conversational fluidity and effectiveness. What do I mean by that? Well, take a look at this example:
Two roommates are in the kitchen. Roommate A is cooking dinner. She turns to Roommate B and says "Could you take out the trash?" Roommate B says "Sure thing," and all is right in the world.
But what if Roommate A had said, "Take out the trash, please." Does the addition of "please" really do away with the fact that that statement feels like an order? Most people would probably feel at least a little put off being addressed that way. It's undeniably bossy.
Still, in the first situation, Roommate B would only have said "No" if she were looking for a fight. Why? Because, although "Could you take out the trash?" looks like a question, it's not. It's a request, albeit a very polite one.
"Could you take out the trash?" and "Take out the trash, please" both have essentially the same meaning, but the former is far better-suited to the situation than the latter. Is this "merely" semantics? Not to me. Pretending both phrases are equal in every situation is like pretending your thumbnail and a screwdriver can undo a screw with equal efficacy. Can they both get the job done? Sure. Will one option probably leave you in a fair bit of pain with a torn-up opposable digit? Yeeee-ap. In short, phrasing counts. Like, a lot.
So what does this have to do with English/Japanese communication break-down? Well, in Japanese, when requesting something of someone, the most common grammar to use takes exactly that form: a request. Those who know some Japanese probably know the "XYZ-kudasai" grammar. It translates most neatly into "Please XYZ", or "Please give me XYZ." In Japanese, this is perfectly acceptable. There's nothing awkward about asking something of someone this way.
The problem comes when these Japanese-speaking people decide to ask something of someone in English. What does that handy-dandy phrase become when translated? An uninentionally bossy-sounding order.
Here's an example. I was talking to a Japanese woman, who asked me how to ask for a discount in English. Now, first and foremost, asking for discounts isn't really part of American consumer culture. That aside, she thought she should say "Discount, please." Does this not sound like something someone would say only when they felt assured they would get that discount? It reminded me of ordering in a restaurant. If you say "Water, please", you're not really asking, you're ordering. She, accustomed to the "XYZ-kudasai" format, was unaware of the semantics of that literal translation in English. Needless to say, I informed her forthwith.
It may seem like a trivial point, but this kind of nuance, and lack of knowledge about it, can really serve to hinder communication between speakers of different languages. It's subtle enough that the listener doesn't really stop and think that maybe the speaker doesn't mean it that way; to them it just sounds haughty. The end result being a bad taste in the mouth and a disinclination to engage in further discourse.
So what's the take home point of this? English teachers - tell your students about the "Could you XYZ?" request pattern. It will stand them in good stead. Also, semantics count. When learning foreign languages, ask about context, ask about nuance, ask, ask, ask. Do not assume. Find and use the freakin' screwdriver. You will save yourself a lot of heartache.
日本人の読者へ、
これぐらい分かってもらいたいですよ。「何々ください」か「何々してください」は英語で「Blah blah, please.」だとしても、実はその言い方が命令に聞こえます。もっと曖昧で、丁寧な聞き方は、「Could you...?」か「Could I have.....?」。この語句に「please」を付けてもいいですが、「please」だけでは、レストランで何かを注文するみたいになってしまいます。つまり、後輩に話している時でも、「Could you...?」という言葉のほうがいいですよ。「何々,please.」よりずっと優しい言葉なんですから。
I hope this helps those of you learning Japanese both in asking in Japanese, and understanding the actual intention of Japanese people who speak English. Chances are they don't realize they sound bossy, so give them the benefit of the doubt.
Phew, that was long-winded. My fingers are tired, haha.
Anyway, mata kondo.
'Till next time.
Showing posts with label language. Show all posts
Showing posts with label language. Show all posts
Monday, March 14, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
It's not my fault. I'm sorry anyway.
First, a pretty picture of a scene I see most every day coming over the bridge, home from work:
And on to something I've been thinking about.
Pretty much everyone knows that moving from one culture to another brings with it some misunderstandings. A lot of the time, the misunderstandings are due simply to a lack of semantic or contextual comprehension. Those are easy, relatively speaking. A simple explanation of "what I meant was....", and problem solved!
Other times, though, the misunderstanding stems from a deeper, more deeply embedded cultural difference. One of those differences is in regards to apologizing. Allow me an anecdotal example. When I was in one of my earlier college Japanese classes, the subject of social niceties came up. A girl asked the teacher, "So what do you say when someone sneezes?" The teacher answered, "Well, nothing really. In fact, the person who sneezed would probably just apologize or something." The girl said in an affronted tone, "But it wasn't their fault! Why do they need to say sorry?!"
This is the American perception of the purpose of an apology. To us Yanks (I can't speak with any knowledge of other Anglophone countries), to apologize is to admit to some kind of fault, personal failing, or wrong-doing.
In Japanese society, however, apologies serve a different purpose. They really don't have anything to do with admitting guilt. Instead, apologies are a kind of social styptic powder. In other words, when any kind of interruption, disruption, disappointment, etc. occurs, an apology can be used to smooth things over and halt negative feelings from gaining ground. Personal responsibility doesn't necessarily enter into the equation at all. What's more, apologizing is a signal to people that, regardless of whether an apology is warranted, you're thinking about other people's feelings.
Here's another situation. You're late to a meeting because there was a severe traffic jam. You get to the building where you promised to meet. You run inside and take the stairs two by two. You stumble up to the group and begin apologizing profusely, between breaths. This would be a common approach taken by a Japanese person, but an American would more likely start by going into a detailed explanation of the traffic situation. They'd probably finish with a statement to the effect of "It wasn't my fault; there's nothing I could do." The group, if they were Japanese, would be put off by that kind of approach. Why? Because from the Japanese perspective, the American would simply be covering his or her ass, with no regard to fixing the rift that was made. They're not worried about assigning blame. They just want to make sure relations are preserved.
When I said styptic powder, this is what I meant. If you accidentally cut yourself, you wouldn't refuse to bandage the wound because it "wasn't your fault." Whether it's your fault or not, it's still bleeding, and it needs to be treated. That's the approach Japanese society takes to apologizing. It's not about blame, it's about preventing negative feelings from gushing all over the place and making things unhygienic and sticky. Er, so to speak.
What does this mean? If you're going to be around Japanese people for any amount of time, be prepared to apologize a lot, and don't let it feel like you're shouldering some kind personal responsibility. It's just like... a cultural Tums. To ease that dang cultural heartburn that happens when you sneeze and distract someone from what they were doing. Yeah, a different metaphor would probably work better, but you get it right?
Anyway, it's late and I've run out of soapbox steam. Time to turn in!
Mata kondo.
And on to something I've been thinking about.
Pretty much everyone knows that moving from one culture to another brings with it some misunderstandings. A lot of the time, the misunderstandings are due simply to a lack of semantic or contextual comprehension. Those are easy, relatively speaking. A simple explanation of "what I meant was....", and problem solved!
Other times, though, the misunderstanding stems from a deeper, more deeply embedded cultural difference. One of those differences is in regards to apologizing. Allow me an anecdotal example. When I was in one of my earlier college Japanese classes, the subject of social niceties came up. A girl asked the teacher, "So what do you say when someone sneezes?" The teacher answered, "Well, nothing really. In fact, the person who sneezed would probably just apologize or something." The girl said in an affronted tone, "But it wasn't their fault! Why do they need to say sorry?!"
This is the American perception of the purpose of an apology. To us Yanks (I can't speak with any knowledge of other Anglophone countries), to apologize is to admit to some kind of fault, personal failing, or wrong-doing.
In Japanese society, however, apologies serve a different purpose. They really don't have anything to do with admitting guilt. Instead, apologies are a kind of social styptic powder. In other words, when any kind of interruption, disruption, disappointment, etc. occurs, an apology can be used to smooth things over and halt negative feelings from gaining ground. Personal responsibility doesn't necessarily enter into the equation at all. What's more, apologizing is a signal to people that, regardless of whether an apology is warranted, you're thinking about other people's feelings.
Here's another situation. You're late to a meeting because there was a severe traffic jam. You get to the building where you promised to meet. You run inside and take the stairs two by two. You stumble up to the group and begin apologizing profusely, between breaths. This would be a common approach taken by a Japanese person, but an American would more likely start by going into a detailed explanation of the traffic situation. They'd probably finish with a statement to the effect of "It wasn't my fault; there's nothing I could do." The group, if they were Japanese, would be put off by that kind of approach. Why? Because from the Japanese perspective, the American would simply be covering his or her ass, with no regard to fixing the rift that was made. They're not worried about assigning blame. They just want to make sure relations are preserved.
When I said styptic powder, this is what I meant. If you accidentally cut yourself, you wouldn't refuse to bandage the wound because it "wasn't your fault." Whether it's your fault or not, it's still bleeding, and it needs to be treated. That's the approach Japanese society takes to apologizing. It's not about blame, it's about preventing negative feelings from gushing all over the place and making things unhygienic and sticky. Er, so to speak.
What does this mean? If you're going to be around Japanese people for any amount of time, be prepared to apologize a lot, and don't let it feel like you're shouldering some kind personal responsibility. It's just like... a cultural Tums. To ease that dang cultural heartburn that happens when you sneeze and distract someone from what they were doing. Yeah, a different metaphor would probably work better, but you get it right?
Anyway, it's late and I've run out of soapbox steam. Time to turn in!
Mata kondo.
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