Is that a question or an order?

I was just talking about this with a friend of mine, and I realized that it's actually a very relevant point of communication in language and merits a post. However, if you're not so linguistically inclined you might want to skip this one.

I'm sure many people have heard the term "semantics" before. Usually in the context of dismissing an argument for it just being "semantics." In that case, it means mere manipulation through word choice, without any significant change in meaning.

To me, someone who's stupidly geeky about all things linguistic, semantics are important. Two sentences can have essentially the same meaning, but one might be far and away a better choice for conversational fluidity and effectiveness. What do I mean by that? Well, take a look at this example:

Two roommates are in the kitchen. Roommate A  is cooking dinner. She turns to Roommate B and says "Could you take out the trash?" Roommate B says "Sure thing," and all is right in the world.

But what if Roommate A had said, "Take out the trash, please." Does the addition of "please" really do away with the fact that that statement feels like an order? Most people would probably feel at least a little put off being addressed that way. It's undeniably bossy.

Still, in the first situation, Roommate B would only have said "No" if she were looking for a fight. Why? Because, although "Could you take out the trash?" looks like a question, it's not. It's a request, albeit a very polite one.

"Could you take out the trash?" and "Take out the trash, please" both have essentially the same meaning, but the former is far better-suited to the situation than the latter. Is this "merely" semantics? Not to me. Pretending both phrases are equal in every situation is like pretending your thumbnail and a screwdriver can undo a screw with equal efficacy. Can they both get the job done? Sure. Will one option probably leave you in a fair bit of pain with a torn-up opposable digit? Yeeee-ap.  In short, phrasing counts. Like, a lot.

So what does this have to do with English/Japanese communication break-down? Well, in Japanese, when requesting something of someone, the most common grammar to use takes exactly that form: a request. Those who know some Japanese probably know the "XYZ-kudasai" grammar. It translates most neatly into "Please XYZ", or "Please give me XYZ." In Japanese, this is perfectly acceptable. There's nothing awkward about asking something of someone this way.

The problem comes when these Japanese-speaking people decide to ask something of someone in English. What does that handy-dandy phrase become when translated? An uninentionally bossy-sounding order.

Here's an example. I was talking to a Japanese woman, who asked me how to ask for a discount in English. Now, first and foremost, asking for discounts isn't really part of American consumer culture. That aside, she thought she should say "Discount, please." Does this not sound like something someone would say only when they felt assured they would get that discount? It reminded me of ordering in a restaurant. If you say "Water, please", you're not really asking, you're ordering. She, accustomed to the "XYZ-kudasai" format, was unaware of the semantics of that literal translation in English. Needless to say, I informed her forthwith.

It may seem like a trivial point, but this kind of nuance, and lack of knowledge about it, can really serve to hinder communication between speakers of different languages. It's subtle enough that the listener doesn't really stop and think that maybe the speaker doesn't mean it that way; to them it just sounds haughty. The end result being a bad taste in the mouth and a disinclination to engage in further discourse.

So what's the take home point of this? English teachers - tell your students about the "Could you XYZ?" request pattern. It will stand them in good stead. Also, semantics count. When learning foreign languages, ask about context, ask about nuance, ask, ask, ask. Do not assume. Find and use the freakin' screwdriver. You will save yourself a lot of heartache.

日本人の読者へ、
これぐらい分かってもらいたいですよ。「何々ください」か「何々してください」は英語で「Blah blah, please.」だとしても、実はその言い方が命令に聞こえます。もっと曖昧で、丁寧な聞き方は、「Could you...?」か「Could I have.....?」。この語句に「please」を付けてもいいですが、「please」だけでは、レストランで何かを注文するみたいになってしまいます。つまり、後輩に話している時でも、「Could you...?」という言葉のほうがいいですよ。「何々,please.」よりずっと優しい言葉なんですから。

I hope this helps those of you learning Japanese both in asking in Japanese, and understanding the actual intention of Japanese people who speak English. Chances are they don't realize they sound bossy, so give them the benefit of the doubt.

Phew, that was long-winded. My fingers are tired, haha.

Anyway, mata kondo.

'Till next time.